Brad, We're Not Related!

I am so bummed! I've been doing a little genealogy research and have come to the unhappy conclusion that even though I am a descendant of the Pitt family, and bear the name as well, I am not a relative of Brad Pitt. I was hoping that maybe I could have been at least a 12th generation, thrice removed relative, but it doesn't look likely. We both do have a possible common relative, about four generations back, but there is no way to know for sure as the information stops at the name and there is no way to dig any deeper with this particular individual.

Man, I am so discouraged! I've prided myself on having the name for many years. I took a lot of teasing as a child, but once Brad made the name well-known, I would refer to him when anyone would ask about it.

As much as I would love to be included in family picnics with Brad, I can be content knowing that there were a lot of gorgeous men and women from whom I am descended. Not only were my ancestors hot, they had adventurous personalities, too! There were career professionals, cattle ranchers, treasure hunters, war veterans, jailed criminals, drunks...you know, the usual family stuff. It was fascinating to read the same stories on the net that my grandmother had told me when I was young.

Some of these stories are very colorful. The little light bulbs are going off inside my head. I hope to get them into Word documents, before I forget about them...like my keys and my phone.

For those of you (and me) who have no life, but a lot of time to roam around the net, I think you would enjoy learning about the who, what, where, when and why of our ancestors. Good luck!

Military Forts and Beauty Parlors, of Course!

I’ve been working this week as a temp. I've had some free time and decided to do a little net surfing. I find myself getting so engrossed in my favorite blogs, as well as, the blogs of commenter’s on my favorite blogs. It’s a little like ADD, when you enter a room for one thing, and end up getting sidetracked with something else, and then when that can of worms is opened, there are three more interesting things to do!

One blog I always enjoy visiting is Tutu’s Bliss. She has the most precious little girls, who are always dressed in the most colorful and flowing outfits. Even her little one’s Binky is decorated with a flower! Check out this blog!

When I read about little ones and their adventures, it takes me back to when my cutie pies were little and I recall all the fun things we did. I was very lucky back then to be able to stay home for a few years.


When it was just the boys, Hero & Rock, we would throw sheets or blankets over coffee tables and chairs. We would connect everything so that it was one giant fort. No adults were allowed in, except for moms with snacks. I loved to listen to the dialogue exchanges between the two.

“Where is all our stuff?”

“I no know, I tot you had 'em?”

“No I don habe 'em. Maybe Mommy habs 'em. Let’s go peek her. Cover me, kay?"

“kay, I cover you. But don’t go by duh bad-guy’s fort. If they peek you, they will yell and chase us to the river!”

“kay, I stay away from bad-guy fort! Stay by me, kay?”

“Kay. Let’s get some bug juice and spidey gummies. I haben’t had those since foreber!” The little soldiers managed to get to the rations tent (kitchen)without alerting the bad guys, and wouldn’t you know it…in the tent were some boxes of bug juice and a few bags of Spidey gums! My little grunts were in heaven!

Another fun thing we would do so as not to get bored while in the car was to scream “Dinosaurs” whenever we went under a bridge or pass. Simply screaming bloody murder was a little too shrill for my delicate ears, but screaming Dinosaurs would add just a touch of giggles to the yelling.


Once the girls were in charge, it was “Land of Beauty and Fairies.” We would all go to the beauty parlor together (in the living room) and we would take turns doing each others hair, makeup, nails and toes. Add to that the most marvelous tutus and wings, and we were the talk of the Fairy Realm. Of course, I was the Fairy Queen and the girls were my Princesses in waiting…until the U.S. Army arrived! Then we would have to quickly pack up our makeup cases and fly away to the Fairy tower (in mom & dad’s bedroom). There we would be safe because dad put a lock on the door to keep out uninvited guests, or in this case, grunts!

I really miss those days…every now and then.

I Love My Girlfriends!

"Oh darn!" Lisa yelled as she glanced at the digital clock in the car. "Why can't I ever be on time!" Her good friend, Sara, was visiting from DesMoine and had invited her to a soiree (Margarita-fest) at a relatives home. The party was to end at 5:00 and it was now 5:10 p.m. She was 20 minutes away from the party house.

Lisa grumbled as she sat in her car at the red light. To add insult, it was beginning to drizzle. She so wanted to see Sara and get one of her fantastic hugs! Sara and Lisa had been friends for many years. Their daughters had gone to school with each other. Their friendship blossomed because of their girls, and grew even deeper when they later worked at the same preschool.

Sara's husband had been transferred to DesMoine some years earlier. It was a very difficult move, not only for Sara, but for all the girlfriends she left behind. Oh, sure, they spoke on the phone, and even emailed each other, but nothing could beat the "real thing" of face-to-face girlfriend love.

The weekend passed and Lisa felt bad about missing the party. She meant to call, but time got away from her until Monday.

"I'll give her a call, or send off an email tonight" Lisa promised herself. She had several errands to run after work, and then needed to stop off at the house to pick up something. As she walked into the kitchen, the phone rang. Lisa checked the caller ID, as she always does, and saw that it was a friend who also knew Sara.

"Hello" Lisa said, thinking she would be speaking to the Caller ID owner.

"Hello, Lisa?" said a most warm and familiar voice.

"Sara...how are you? I'm so glad you called! Listen, I feel horrible about missing the party last week! How long will you be here? Can I see you before you leave? How are you? How are the girls?" rambled Lisa.

"Oh, that's okay" replied Sara, "I'm great. Three more days. Yes. Fine. Fine. Say, a few of us are going to meet for drinks at Mi Casa in about 10 minutes. Do you think you can join us? I know it's last minute, but I would love to see you!"

"Are you kidding me?" shrieked Lisa. "I'll be right over!"

Oddly enough, two cars full of girlfriends pulled up to Mi Casa at the same time. They all screamed with delight and they group hugged each other. When they were inside the restaurant, Lisa gave Sara her warmest hug, and got back the best "I'm glad to see you" hug ever!

The waiter brought chips and salsa and the girls toasted each other with their fancy umbrella drinks. Then, as everyone began talking at once, Sara & Lisa looked at each other and began to laugh.

"Oh, how I've missed you" smiled Lisa. "Where do I begin? You look marvelous!" joked Lisa. The two went on and on laughing loudly as they reminisced. They had both become quite fond of one of the elementary school teachers, who was a prankster with a wicked sense of humor. He became Monsignor to them, and they became Sister Sara and Sister Lisa to him. Over the years they each would sign birthday cards to each other with their religious names. The whole idea was really quite hilarious since the three were well-seasoned sinners, and had already made their reservations to fry in hell.

By now the umbrella drinks were beginning to take effect, and everyone was quite giddy. They all took pictures of each other acting as if they were at a high school prom. The waiter just smiled as he brought more chips. It was getting late and no one really wanted to leave.

"I've got to go," Lisa said. "I need to get dinner started so it will look like I did something today!" They all chuckled because they were all thinking the same thing!

After another big group hug, the girlfriends blew kisses to each other and made their way to their cars. Lisa smiled and waved as the others drove away.

"It's a good day," she thought "when the merry-go-round stops and life takes over for a little while!"

Happy Birthday, Katya!

So, it's 10:00pm on a Saturday night. The hubs has called it a night and I'm sitting at the computer in the family room...my whole body vibrating to the sound of "All the Single Ladies" emanating from the basement. Katya, who turned 16 in January, wasn't officially "Sweet Sixteened" then, so tonight is her right of passage! There are black lights, a disco ball, streamers, and lots of plastic covering for all the spills that will take place. A special request was made for ten pounds of M&Ms and Skittles!

Our basement is right out of "That 70's Show" with the exception of no bathroom. Everyone has to come up to the main level to relieve themselves of all the soda and fruit punch. There is a very nice boy here, Seamus, who is directing traffic to the loo and while it is in use, we are chatting about Lacrosse, carpentry, plumbing and the five dates that he brought with him.

Ed has decided to keep Katya smiling all night, so she has dressed and made up herself to look like Lady Gaga (Just Dance...). Every ten minutes or so, Ed pops her head up and asks "are we too loud?" I love Katie Perry, but paaleeezzzee!!! I can only take so many repetitions of "I don't Want To Lose Your Love Tonight."

"Too loud? Pfft..not your friends, oh no...never!" In about 17 minutes (around 11:00pm) everything comes down three decibels, and by midnight any bodies left in or out of the basement are fair game for Tootsie and her neighborhood night critter friends! I hope the hubs doesn't wake up!

Lady Gaga just came on again! I hear karaoke! I hear dancing...I don't know where they are dancing...there are three couches, two easy chairs, a Futon, tables, shelving and an armoire down there! It's now 11:01pm......there must be 30 people down there. I hope the Fire Marshall doesn't show up for an inspection!

Thank you, Lord, for giving me only two girls...

Baby's Lullaby

As she made her way into the large choir room to deliver a message to the teacher, her heart skipped a beat and a feeling of euphoria came over her. The young girls were singing "All The Pretty Little Horses." This is an old southern song, which, if I am correct, was sung to the babies of the plantation owners by their African American nannies. It goes something like this:

Hush a bye
Don't you cry
Go to sleepy little baby

When you wake
We'll have sweet cake
And all the pretty little horses

Blacks and Bays
Dapples and Greys
Six and twenty little horses

Blacks and Bays
Dapples and Greys
Six and twenty little horses

When she was in college, she took a voice class to help ease her fear of singing in front of an audience. You see, she wanted to be an actress...a real actress...who could act, sing and dance. She was comfortable with the acting and dancing, but had no experience singing. "All the Pretty Little Horses" was the song she learned in class, and sang for her final project. She didn't know why she picked that song; something in her gut told her to learn the song.

She stopped pursuing her acting career and decided to take a different path in her great journey of life. On that path, she and her husband of eight years decided to start a family. During the next eight years of her journey, she had four children. She sang this song to each of her babies during the first years of their lives. She would wrap her arms around them and hold them close. Each one of them knew that when mommy sang this song, they were the center of the universe and nothing else mattered but them. The song was especially soothing to her fourth child, who was so sensitive, she would have a meltdown if someone looked at her with raised eyebrows. The melody and words would calm the little girl and turn her tears into smiles.

On her way out of the choir room, one could see a single tear falling from her eye. But the corner of her smiling mouth stopped the tear, and for a moment, she felt the bliss of knowing how very lucky and blessed she was to have babies who loved hearing her sing this song...now she knew why her gut had told her to learn it.

Tribute to My "Rock"

Rock is the fictitious name I've given to #2 child. He plays in an alternative rock band (hence the name "Rock"). His big brother, Hero, successfully trained Rock in the busy way For example, he he couldn't sit, or do anything that didn't involve running or thrashing both arms all over as he ran. He managed a few scuffs along the way, and has the scars to show for them. I once had a pediatrician hold up his 100 page medical file and say "S'up with this?" After I fantasized about shoving my fist down his throat, I said sweetly, "I bring him to the doctor when he's sick or broken! He's just a little accident-prone and gets a few ear infections!"

Rock spoke Klingon when he was two years old. Only Hero could translate. After a while, I could understand through hand motions and using 50,000 suggestions as to what it was he wanted to say. We had his hearing tested, which resulted in good news, but when the doctor had him do a few tongue "gestures" he was unable to pass the test. The diagnosis was an under-developed tongue muscle that was completely normal after a year of speech therapy. Once he was speaking English, he wouldn't shut up!

He went to a preschool that had classes surrounding an open atrium. Once, while we were walking to his class, he was smacking the leaves of atrium plants along the way. He was walking directly behind me and forgot about the eyes in the back of my head. I said calmly, "Rock please stop smacking those plants." He replied in his ever-so-nanny-nanny voice, "Can't see me!" I laughed so hard I almost wet myself!

He's always loved sports and outdoor games. The preschool had little two-wheel bikes with wheels that were at least six inches wide. He mastered the two wheeler at school and then blew his dad away when he hopped on a "real" bicycle and took off. Dad was prepared to run up and down the street for a few hours until Rock felt confident enough to ride alone. Dad was beside himself with relief to have dodged this one!

Hero, Rock's big brother, crashed and burned on a bicycle when he was about five years old. He wouldn't get back on a bike to save his life. When the boys were a little older, Rock had to teach a skill to someone for a scout badge. He was able to get his big brother back on a bicycle and loved it! Whew! I was glad he was working on that badge! Have you ever tried to get a kid to take cough syrup once they've tasted the worst kind?

They both enjoyed playing soccer and baseball....until they were hit by wild pitches! I don't know what it is with getting hit by a fast moving ball, but neither one ever played it again. Rock tried gymnastics, volleyball and football. He fell in love with the latter two sports, and was very successful at them. He would bring on the "bad boy mean" when it was needed, but he normally was a bit more reserved. He has, however, more heart in his little finger than do many entire teams of athletes!

He has accomplished much in his young life, and he has done his momma proud! He's more than half-way through his college education and actually has an idea of what he'd like to be when he grows up. I didn't know what I wanted to be until I was 50, and I'm still changing my mind to this day!

So, here's to you Rock! Because you could sing the entire soundtrack of Disney's "Little Mermaid" when you were three; because you wouldn't let the doctors hurt your big brother when they tried to stitch up his eye; because you busted your butt to finish your Eagle project within 24 hours of turning 18; and because you never hesitate to say you love me in public, I am so incredibly proud of you and grateful that God gave you to me!

I love you.

Age of Aquarius

Remember this Fifth Dimension song? "When the moon is in the seventh house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars..." Everything is perfect! Have you ever had a day, a week, a year, or a job that was everything you needed to be completely satisfied? I'd like to tell you about a time in my life where I felt that I was aligned with something very special.

Prior to my thrilling job as a school secretary, I worked at a church pre-school as a Teacher's Aid. I had been coerced to apply for this job by a friend. It helped a little that my girls had been students at the school, so I was familiar with how it was run and I knew some of the teachers. I really love the kids at this age. They are still so very innocent and loving. Every new experience is an exciting adventure for them.

My day began by assisting the teachers prepare for the day. The other Aids and I would help set up paints and easels, fill up water pitchers, set out supplies for the day's activities and anything else that the teachers needed. Once the children began arriving, we would go through their tote bags to pull out notes, lunch bags or returned items from the prior class time. Throughout the morning, we would help with activities, art projects, snack time, potty breaks, outside time and clean up. Occasionally, I would substitute for one of the teachers. This really did wonders for my ego, because the little tykes always loved the teacher!

One of the the best things about this job, (in addition to the children) was the fact that I loved every single woman with whom I worked. I loved the director, the teachers and the other aids. We all seemed to blend well together. All of us were moms, so we had that in common. The fact that we were all Christian women was another common thread. I think that we all had a decent sense of humor, which on some days, was the only way we survived! After working for a few months, I became comfortable with my work and my relationship with my co-workers. Everyone was called "Miss" Susan, "Miss" Betty, etc. I would get a chuckle when I would hear, "Miss Liz, will you please wipe my butt?" coming from the bathroom!

In November, we drew names for a Secret Santa event. We would begin leaving gifts for our secret person once a week starting with December 1st. We would get together at a restaurant after the school finished classes for winter break. It would be at this luncheon that our Secret Santa would be revealed. It was always so much fun to sneak around with our little secret stuff and bring a smile to someones face. Of course, I would absolutely love receiving my surprises, too!

One year, to add a little something different, we all took names of a famous actress. There was Anna Nicole Smith, Amy Irving, Mae West, Susan Hayward, Melanie Griffith, Carol Lombard and I was Elizabeth Taylor. It was a lot of fun pretending to be a famous person, and it often kept us laughing throughout the day. To this day, we still email each other with our "Movie Star" names.

The boys and girls were always cracking us up with the funniest stories and their explanations for whatever was happening on any given day. We had a tablet in one of the classrooms where we would write down the funny sayings. At the end of the school year, the director would make a little booklet with these precious articulations, as well as, samples of their master artworks throughout the year. I still have these booklets.

This dream job lasted for two to three years. I will always remember the fun, laughter and comradery I experienced when the planets were guided by peace and love steered the stars.